Quandary (aka whining)

How do you live for Jesus, but live in the US at the same time? It seems to me that in the US, more than anywhere else, you have to have money to survive. If you don't have serious cash, no one takes you seriously. How do you serve the Lord and still make a living? You can't serve God and money, right? The more Mike and I focus on serving God, the less money we have. We've cut the bills as low as we can, and we still can't come close to making ends meet. So we have to focus back on making money for basics, and then we're dropping our focus off of God. And back and forth we go.

Some not so gentle friends have suggested that if we're truly doing God's work, God will bless us financially. I think that is only sometimes true. God promises to take care of us but doesn't say anything about giving us money. And we always do seem to squeak by, but we never have any cushion. It's hard, and it's frustrating. More and more I've become suspect of people with financially "blessed" ministries, too. It's probably bitterness, but I wonder if they are serving with pure motives for bringing glory to God or if the money's just good.

It breaks my heart to see my husband having to consider giving up his ministry because it is not well-supported financially. He's doing something he loves to do, and he's doing it for God. Then we have to go around and around and ask if his motives are pure. Is he really doing this for God's glory, or does he just get a kick out of it? We think it's about God, and Mike happens to get a kick out of it. But what if we're wrong? How can we know?

I've finally reached a place where I don't want to make a decision, not because I'm afraid of choosing wrong, but because I don't believe it will make any difference. Whatever we do, we seem doomed to struggle. (Jesus did say that in this world there would be trouble, but why does it seem so much harder for us? I'm whining; I know.) Are there really any right answers?