Saturday, March 20, 2010

Reflection on the Number 40

Well, I've been 40 for almost a month now, and I'm kind of getting used to it. It's not like it feels any different - I've been having those aches and pains for a while now. And I started my forgetful phase a couple years ago. (I've always been at the head of the class.) But the number 40 is a really big number!

If life is a bell curve, I guess I think of 40 as the number on the top of the curve. Literally all down hill from here. Now, I enjoy down hill. Much easier bike ride; and with no brakes, it can be very exciting! But it also means the end of the ride is coming - and it seems to go by so much faster than the uphill part - same distance, but at high speed.

I'm not saying 80 is the end. And I honestly don't think I want to live that long anyway. I love life, but I have an inkling that what comes next will blow this life away. So, I'm not that concerned with hanging on here indefinitely.

No, it's not a fear of death that has started my melancholy reflection on the number 40. I'm just wondering how 4 decades have gone by, and I don't have a whole lot to show for it. I'm not even sure what I mean by that. I don't know what I expected to "have" to show. I have a great family; wonderful husband; roof over my head; a cat. Oh, and a lime tree!

Check out what my wonderful husband got me for my birthday!

Anyway, I'm 40 now. I can handle this. "Hi, I'm Gena, and I'm 40." See? No problem.