It's been a bit of a difficult week. 3 of the 18 employees at my company were let go on Tuesday. It's not that the owners are playing scared or trying to hedge their bets, just in case. The trouble is, most of our clients are doing the hedging and have really hit the brakes. Prospective clients are playing "Wait and see". These tech guys I work with rank some pretty high salaries, and it just isn't possible to carry that big payroll for very long. It was still a shock. We really pride oursleves on being a team, a family. And being a small company, well, it hurts. Thankfully, I wasn't the one who had to tell them. I did have to process them all out, though.
The rest of the week I was just under a cloud. I didn't feel like doing anything, but I made it through. Even went to Bible Study Tuesday night more out of habit than a desire to learn anything. And of course, I still learned some things. And I also ran into some women from church. So I didn't even to get to sit by myself and wallow. I went to choir practice Wednesday because I had said I would be there, and joined the alto section. (Which was fun, actually.)
So now mostly I'm feeling guilty for having my job. It's a lot like when someone dies, but not you and you eventually have to move on with your life. It feels wrong to go back to "normal". Nothing is normal. But life does go on. The good news is these guys aren't dead, and none of them should have that much trouble finding a job. The dudes have got some skills. But it still seems rude to carry on as usual.
2 comments:
How strange - I'm also coming off of a tough week with some of the same feelings. One of my former students lost her battle with cancer. A fellow blogger's baby, the very same thing. Sometimes I feel guilty because my children are healthy, that we've never even had to dream of facing such a challenge. I've been saying many prayers of thanks because of that...but also many prayers for these girls' families, that they might find peace, strength, and purpose for what has just turned their worlds inside out.
I think God's watching out for you through this, though, given that your Tuesday and Wednesday turned out so well in the midst of what He knew was a difficult week for you. :)
Okay, and I'll stop commenting now...'cause I could go on and on!
The job you have is a blessing; don't feel guilty. Do something for someone who doesn't have a job, if it's no more than listening to them express their fears, frustrations and maybe anger. Then pray for them and with them. You know what it's like not to have a job. Did you feel guilty when you did get the job you now have? I don't think so. You were thankful. Continue to be that way, not guilty. God has a plan.
Post a Comment