Lesson from Ruth

I've been studying the book of Ruth this summer with a study guide by Kelly Minter and some friends from church. (Kelly does great studies - even includes recipes!) The overarching theme of the study is that Boaz redeeming Ruth is a representation of how Jesus redeems us.

What I came across this week was a concept I had not considered before. Boaz announces at the city gates in front of the elders and many townspeople that he will marry Ruth the Moabitess widow. He is completely unashamed and quite delighted by this.

So I just realized that Jesus redeems me knowing full well that I would be considered unworthy, unattractive, and beneath notice of anyone else; yet He is not ashamed - in fact He is delighted!

It never occurred to me that Jesus might actually look directly at my sin and shame, my unworthiness, even announce it, and be delighted to take me in, to cover me with His protection, to bless me. I hadn't really thought of it before, but somehow assumed that He redeemed me with a different attitude. I guess I thought He just secretly stepped in out of duty and honor, cleaned me up, and then presented me as His, shaking His head when I stray and trying to ignore my shortcomings - maybe growing to love me eventually. I don't know, it sounds dumb when I put it into words.

I know (the Bible says!) He loves me. And yet so often I behave as if I don't really know that. So which is it? Does He love me or not? He does. Do I believe it? I'm working on that part.

Illogical

How do you deal with someone who insists on doing the exact opposite of anything you want them to do, anything a reasonable person would do? Oh, and reverse psychology doesn't work. He's onto that one.

It's painful to watch someone you love self-destruct. And the more you try to love and support them, the more they push away. (I'm not talking about Mike, by the way.)

The need for independence can override all logic, it seems.

It's kind of like that whole God and man thing. Where God, our creator, knows exactly what we need and love, but we decide that we want to do things our way - the wrong way, but at least it's ours. Anything but God, right?

And now I have to think -- hmm, that must hurt Him quite a bit. And out of His great love for us, He lets us make that choice. He didn't have to make things like this; He could have made us love Him. But He loves us enough to allow us to choose to love Him back or not. Wow.

I know if I had the power to make this pain stop, I would do it. But I don't. So, while the pain doesn't stop, I at least know that I can turn to a God, my Father, who has an intimate understanding of what I'm going through. And I pray and I pray and I pray.

What Is My Worth?

I know I am a child of God. The Bible tells me so. I know He loves me. The Bible tells me so. I know I am worth God's Son. The Bible tells me so. I know there is nothing I can do to earn God's love and nothing I can do to lose it. The Bible tells me so.

And yet...

Sometimes I find I describe myself by what I do. Sometimes I feel unlovable. Sometimes I assign my worth based on others' evaluations (am I pretty, am I competent, am I hireable?). Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to do God's work, I forget why. Work, work, work. Do, do, do.

Today I rest in His love and hold onto His promises as long as I can. Until my next lapse, which will come, and hopefully not last too long.