Out of Balance

Rick Warren comments in "The Purpose Driven Life" that God never gives us more than we can handle. If we're overloaded or overwhelmed, it may be due to the fact that we've taken on more than God intended. And then Pastor Rick gives some guidance in how to find what it is God does intend for us.

So, why am I overwhelmed? Certainly not because I didn't finish reading "The Purpose Driven Life". (or maybe it is...) I know if I just quit, gave up, stayed in bed tomorrow, that all the things on my plate would either get taken care of by someone else or would just sit there until they didn't matter anymore. So why do I get all stressed out about it?

Our entire staff took the Gallup StrengthsFinder Test about a year ago and I discovered (shocker) that one of my major strengths is RESPONSIBILITY. That means I feel like I have to get the job done, no matter what, because others are depending on me. And although this is a great strength in the eyes of my employer, it's a real negative when I feel that about everything set in front of me. It can't possibly be true that if I don't finish everything, the world will end and/or thousands even millions will die. I recognize that even if I do complete all these tasks, the world will still end and thousands even millions will die. Not soon, probably, but still...

So here I am struggling with my basic personality (God-given) and the knowledge that I can't possibly do everything and God has never intended for me to do everything. Now I just have to convince everyone else that this is true.

The Church

I am finding that my passion for THE Church is growing at a comparable rate to the growth of my frustration with individual churches. I so long for unified purpose among God's people, and so despise self-serving, separatist ministries. I want to be involved somehow in serving for His greater purpose and not a single ministry's purpose. But I work for a church, not the Church - or do I?

I recognize that I've become so negative about my church that I've lost sight of the fact that God has placed me here at this church for a purpose. Am I going to change everyone else's thinking? Am I called to lead the charge against silos and narrow mindedness from my desk beside the elevator room? Not likely. But I can do my part in keeping my focus on Him and not on me (and certainly not on "them"). By remembering that God has given me a heart for the Church and seeking to serve Him at this church in that context, perhaps I can get a handle on what He has for me.

When I got my first church job, my mother warned me about "feet of clay." Of course, I told her I knew that and my church was different. I've come to realize that my church isn't really different - it is still made up of humans with human weaknesses. I've also noticed that I am very ready to cut myself slack for my own failings, but am quick to judge when anyone else shows a less than Godly motivation. So apparently, God has some things to teach me yet. (I'm still here, aren't I?)