I am not with them

I've never identified with "Women's" anything. Yes, I am woman! But Women's groups make me very uncomfortable. I don't understand the group-think. I apparently don't represent well. In fact, it's really irritating when people assume I enjoy certain things or voted a certain way or support a certain policy because I am female. More times than not I am actually against or at least not fanatically "for" the women's "agenda".

Recently a friend posted something to encourage young women to register to vote and to then, of course, vote. Her reason was so that women would vote in women and then there would be no sexual predators in office. I highly encourage all citizens to vote. Occasionally I am disenchanted with the process, but I still believe you can't win if you don't try. However the idea that 1) only women voters will vote for women 2) only elected women will be either able to keep out sexual predators or not be predators themselves - it's flawed.

Men and women vote for both men and women. Elected officials of either sex can and do frown upon sexual predators. Women can be predators, too.

Not to dismiss this particular issue, but to make it a woman vs. man thing, is messed up. And to presume that women voting is the answer, is just odd to me.  Why do you presume to know how any woman will vote based on her gender alone? or man for that matter?

It was amusing to me during the Trump - Clinton election how shocked the media was that there were women out there - white, educated women, even - who did NOT vote for Clinton. Some even voted for Trump! Why were they so shocked? (I didn't vote for either one of them, by the way.) Clinton does not represent all women, she is just one. Just like Trump does not represent all men. That's like assuming that people vote in a completely one-dimensional way. There are way too many issues and factors involved to vote based on gender, race, eye color or whatever. Do you really think we're all stupid? Yeah, probably.

Anyway, I am a woman; we are not all the same. I am much more complicated than you seem to think.

Productivity vs. Seeking God

I started a new-to-me Beth Moore book recently that immediately reminded of the fact that I never finished the Isaiah study I had started last year. In fact, I've really slacked in the Bible reading lately. So I decided I needed to jump back into Isaiah before or alongside reading Beth. So that was several days ago - a week maybe?

So I lay in bed this morning...nothing specific planned for the day and I decided to get started. I know I can't do Bible reading in bed, so I got all my stuff together and took it downstairs to the table - Bible, notebook, pencils, my Isaiah study, my Kindle (with Beth).  OK. Just need coffee.

But first let's have breakfast. So I cooked a nice breakfast for Mike and I - oatmeal pancakes!! Then after cleaning that up I grabbed my Kindle to catch up on my Word With Friends and Candy Crush. Then I called a couple of friends....and Mom....

Mike was upstairs for a nap. Sooooo.....the floor has not been swept or mopped in forever! I thought I'd just do the front room real quick. Actually, since I had everything out, I should do the kitchen and the bathroom. And I've been thinking about cleaning the refrigerator. Good grief - I think the last time I cleaned the fridge, Mike was in North Carolina. Things had started sticking to the shelves.

No!! Wow. I was suddenly reminded of the banquet where everyone is too busy to attend. There's a song we did when I was a kid that kept running through my head --- "I cannot come. I cannot come to the banquet. Don't trouble me now; I have married a wife; I have bought me a cow; I have fields and commitments that cost a plenty sum. Pray, hold me excused; I cannot come." Reality check. I have been unproductive around the house for weeks. Interesting how as soon as I decide to get my Bible out again I have a surge of energy for anything BUT my Bible.

I felt a bit like Paul. Why do I do the things I don't want to do, and don't do the thing I do want to do? I know cleanliness is NOT next to godliness. So I stopped the madness and started on Isaiah. It's such a hard book for me. But it won't get easier if I ignore it. I'm not reading it to impress anyone or make myself feel smart (quite the opposite) or holy or anything. But I really think that putting one's mind on the things of God is a productive way to spend one's time. I want to know Him. I want to see His face. I want to hear His voice.

So I didn't get very far - just a few chapters, a couple of notes, started over on Beth. But it's a start. Now if I can just do it again tomorrow or maybe even some more tonight.

Oh and don't worry. I went back and cleaned the refrigerator after my Bible time. It looks so good!

What's Happened to TV

I have a vague recollection from when I was little about cable TV being primarily adult channels. I wasn't clear what that meant except it had to do with naked people and it was bad. We did not have cable. Nobody cared.

So somewhere along the line there was apparently a cable revolution. Awesome things were on cable - sports, movies, Disney channel!! Everyone has cable! or satellite! In fact, the basic assumption is you can't even watch TV without paying for it any more.

And suddenly all these popular shows are steeped in nudity and sex - Game of Thrones, True Blood, etc. But it's not bad - is "great writing" or cutting edge or something. I find it insulting, actually. And I know I'm not cool because I don't watch these shows, but people wake up! These shows are not cool! It's pornography on a big budget, plain and simple. What is happening to us?

Anyway, I'm disturbed by it all. And luckily we can't afford the cable anymore so I found out we CAN get regular TV for free. Tonight it's Saturday Night Baseball on Fox and couple of our favorite BBC shows on PBS.

The dumbing down and debasing of America continues...

Rights vs. Semantics

I probably should keep my mouth shut, but when has that ever been my MO? I have been very stressed and upset over some of the issues out there, and have been pondering this for some time. I’m not gay, so I’ve probably got this wrong, but it seems to me my gay friends are upset over rights and discrimination. And the “traditionalists” are upset over a definition. I won’t even discuss the right or wrong of homosexuality – because that is not the issue.

The reason they end up on opposite sides is because the government has bestowed rights and created different rules based on their own granting of a status called “married”. Two adults who are not related can get this status by purchasing a license from the government and having it signed off on by someone licensed to do so. This marriage license then gets filed with the government and is the basis for tax breaks, insurance discounts, social security benefits, and other rights afforded to what normally would go to only close relatives (basically being married makes these two people legally related as the closest possible “next of kin”). Currently this status is reserved for an adult couple made up of a man and a woman. It’s assumed that these two people are committing to a lifelong relationship and that they love each other – although that is not required.

This is a bogus enterprise by the government. Any two adults should be allowed to “adopt” each other legally. It should have nothing to do with gender or even love. It doesn’t even have to be a “consummated” relationship. I think the only restriction would be that you can only be in one of these type relationships at any given time.

The problem traditionalists have with this is using the term “marriage”, which for most is a sacred institution – the term itself specifically used to describe the joining of a man and woman in a covenant relationship before God, with all kinds of Biblical references, etc. Unfortunately, marriage as a sacred institution is practically dead already – the “sanctity of marriage” has become a joke – and I think this is what the real outcry is about. The last shred of that meaning would be completely and finally lost.

Again, it’s the confusion between the “sacred marriage” and the “legal marriage” that is the problem. The legal government issued status should be renamed and redefined. I should be able to have the person I want to have at my bedside in the ICU – but if it has to be “legally” family, then give me the hoops to jump through to make it legal and call it whatever you want.

Have a little faith

So last month I wrote a somewhat negative-sounding post on prayer. That wasn't really my intent but it came out sounding somewhat sad and frustrated, which is ok because that's exactly what I was feeling at the time. However I can't just leave that sitting there without a follow up.

So, here's the thing - prayer is incomprehensible. I've heard it said that prayer doesn't change God it changes you. That's generally true, but it's rather trite as well for the person who is in anguish and despair. Prayer is the epitome of the theological tension surrounding pre-destination and free will. God is the Creator and has a plan - and we are the created who can't possibly mess up His plan, but at the same time, we have choices. We're called on to pray - to "ask". But on the third hand, if it's all going to turn out His way, what are we asking for?

James 4:2 says we have not because we ask not. But then, what about the having not when we DO ask? Obviously, God does not want us to have whatever we're asking for. So we get the saying -  "God never says 'No'. He says 'Yes', 'Wait' or 'I have something better in mind'." Again, how nice for those not currently suffering.

Then there's the cop out "Prayer that God always answers" - Thy will be done. Yes of course we want God's will to be done because we know (yes we do) that He is good and holy and perfect. However, we are called on to have great faith (or not great - just mustard seed sized works, too) and to call on God for the miraculous - faith that moves mountains - faith that expects the impossible because all things are possible through Christ.

So we pray for that healing that we so want for our friend, spouse, parent, child, self. But we hedge our bets (and protect our hearts) by reminding God that we will accept whatever He chooses to do (in case He doesn't heal). I think God does what He wants, and our prayers are good. We need to be developing out personal relationship with Him and part of that comes from talking things through together. So we're really not reminding God that we're ok with His will. We're telling Him what we want (He knows) and we're telling ourselves that whatever happens we trust God is doing something for His glory. And we really, really want to have a glimpse of what that is. Obviously when someone is miraculously healed, God gets great glory. So I would think He should do that all the time, right? But that doesn't seem to be the way He works - and I'm assuming we would get cocky and complacent and all kinds of bad things would happen if He always performed healing, etc at our word. He's God; not me. (Yes you knew that - but I wanted you to know that I know that, too.)

When He doesn't heal, we are distraught. We don't understand why. We rarely see the glory He gets from NOT healing. But I believe it still happens. Somehow in the great big huge picture of THE PLAN, He is getting the glory. It's just so dang frustrating not to see it happening!

And I still think somehow we are supposed to expect the miraculous impossible healing. Too often I catch myself praying "and if You don't choose to do this incredible thing I want you to do" because in my heart I don't think He will do it. My faith is very very small when it exists at all. I guess I have faith in the overall idea that everything will turn out ok (for those who love God and are called according to His purposes), but I struggle with having faith in day-to-day answered prayer.

After my last post, I had some conversations with myself, and some with God, too. I was reading through my study journal and reading the end of 1Peter. I was reminded that I tend to get whiny about prayer when I am not remembering all He has already done for me. I have a lot of answered prayer in my short history of living. I just forget that when I'm hurting. It really is helpful to write things down - it's hard to remember when you're blinded by emotions. It's good to go back and see all that He has done. And reading His Word helps, too. Peter says it's going to be hard, but hang in there. You aren't alone and there's a very good ending on the way. It hurts! But He's with you. You will be better for it in the end. Have a little faith.

How, What and Why Pray?

I don't get the whole prayer thing. I know we're supposed to pray, but I don't get why. I mean, really, God knows, right? Why do I need to tell him? And if He doesn't want what I want, is my whining going to change His mind? And I've read and even talked about how prayer doesn't change Him, it changes me. And yet I'm at a place where I'm just not seeing it.

But we're supposed to. So, ok. I pray in more of a context of asking for insight or discernment. Asking for direction. Asking for blessings on family and friends. If someone asks me to pray for them, I certainly do. So all this asking all the time. Is that prayer? Asking? Because I don't know what else to do.

And then I find myself disappointed. There are things that I've been asking for years for with no answer. And mostly it's things like wanting to fulfill His purposes; use His gifts to accomplish His will in my life; go wherever He wants me to go. But I'm still at a loss.

On the flip side I am incredibly grateful for the roof over my head, for my family, for our good health, for my job and all the basic needs being met (like wifi internet access). I certainly don't want to rock the boat. But I do want to step out of it now and then. But my faith is so small, I fear I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Games

I love to play games - card games, board games, online games, puzzles. The computer games can be really addictive - hours go by and here I sit with nothing REAL to show for it. But I have GEMS and TREASURES and BADGES and RANKINGS and TOKENS, oh my! Facebook is horrible - check in every day for extra bonus spins or points or coins or whatever. I finally had to block Gardens of Time and Castle Age. I never did Farmville, but I did Social City and had to give that up, too. Honestly, the hidden object games with the stories in them - I dream about them. Silliness.

So what's behind it? Why the obsession? Am I truly that dissatisfied with life that I immerse myself in empty things that don't matter? Am I in so much pain that I have to distract myself from reality hours on end? It's harmless, right? I enjoy activating those brain cells to solve the crime or figure our the pattern or find the secret. It's actually supposed to be good mental stimulation. But HOURS and HOURS? Really?

So I had some prayer time today and it came to my attention that I really don't read the Bible as much as I would like to. I don't have time, you know. What with all the GAMES and things I have to do! There's also the normal household chores plus my t.v. time - can't cut in to that. I'm following several blogs plus writing this one on occasion, so that Bible reading gets pushed further and further down the list. It's not like I want to be all "holier than thou" and such. Reading the Bible just leads to judging others who don't read it as much as I do. So better not go there. Right?

Anyway, I love games. Games bring people together - we had some great game time over Thanksgiving. Sophie beat us all at Rummikub, and our Canasta game was so close, I can't remember who won! Not to mention all the football watching that took place. And minding the fantasy league. It was and is great fun.

I will always play games, but I think I'm going to have to be a lot more careful about these computer ones...